Another symptom of a lack of confidence or low self esteem is avoiding risks. What do I mean by avoiding risks? It might be that you seek work that isn’t challenging or undersell yourself in job interviews or job reviews. You may take on more than your share of work duties so others will like you or feel taken advantage of by your boss.
In friendships or life partners you choose people who have less confidence than you or have less going for themselves than you, i.e. under or unemployed, money problems, few friends. Your friendships and relationships may feel adequate but not completely fulfilling.
These aren’t choices you are necessarily aware of when you make them. It’s more that you don’t reach as high as you might if you felt better about yourself. If you’re confident in your abilities you may have some nerves beforehand but you can speak to your strengths in job interviews. You can explain to your boss why you deserve a raise. You don’t fret about saying no sometimes to your boss or coworkers because you can recognize unreasonable requests. You don’t argue yourself out of what you believe.
If you are confident in yourself you don’t settle in relationships. You don’t stay in relationships that aren’t working and keep making compromises or waiting for people to change. You don’t give and give and wait and wait for something in return. You may hope that someone is interested in you but you don’t worry that they won’t like you or see you as less than or that you’re not enough or worthy of them.
If your self confidence is affecting your work or personal life, please feel email or call (503-243-2283) to see how I can help.