Low self confidence is usually linked to childhood. Two common causes are critical parents or experiencing some form of abuse. The result is often a belief that in some way you don’t matter, you’re a fraud, or others’ needs are more important. Some people who seem the most self assured actually have low self esteem. Their biggest fear is that someone will figure out they aren’t who they seem. Even if you don’t act self assured you may still have the same worry: if someone knew who you really were, they wouldn’t like you.

Obviously you can’t do anything about how you grew up, however you can learn to change the way you think and the things you do to build or increase your confidence. You can love who you are and, when you do, if others see something in you they don’t like you’re less likely to feel you have to apologize for it.

I’m going to focus on some of the causes of low self esteem I see in my practice and give you some ideas to combat them. I may come up with more as I write about this topic over the coming weeks. Let’s look at the list I have so far.

• Negative self talk
• Assertiveness
• Lack of recognition for your accomplishments
• Looking outside yourself rather than within for approval
• Avoiding risks and being unable to forgive yourself for past mistakes or failures
• Being around people who tear you down.

If you struggle with something you want me to add to the list, please email me!